Its a well known fact that online dating sites have become a major way for people, young and old, to meet that new special someone. While there are a lot of dubious statistics on online dating, some studies claim that over 1 in 6 marriages have come from a match that someone met online. A variety of online dating sites and social networking apps have risen to popularity, but one seems to be more popular than the rest with young San Franciscans- OkCupid. Below are a couple of my friends’ stories from OK Cupid first dates. Names and some circumstances have been changed to protect their anonymity.
This date happened to Carol who met up with a guy on OkCupid. Carol is a software engineer that lives in The Mission and works for a start-up down The Peninsula.
“I’ve had a couple of interesting experiences with OkCupid dates. On this one date we had gone back and forth messaging about where to meet up. He insists on this BBQ place in Bernal Heights which I wasn’t really into and was a far walk from my house. I get to the restaurant, wait outside, and text him that I am there. A minute later he walks out the front door of building, which is literally next door to the restaurant. Obviously this guy thought he was going to eat some BBQ and then promptly take me home for desert. But after seeing that was clearly his intention, that was just not going to happen. They have this one question on OkCupid that goes “Which is worse: someone you are not attracted to or someone who you have nothing to talk about with?” From my experience on this date let me tell you, its worse to have nothing to talk about. As I remember we ate and I left right after.
My one other thing I’ve learned about OkCupid dates is this. The guys who talk about sex and how good they are in online messages before the first date end up being pretty bad. So my new rule is avoid going out with the guys who talk about sex prematurely- or at least think twice before going home with them.”
This date happened to Kelly, a self proclaimed social media ninja living in NoPa.
“So we had messaged online about which places to go to and he had decided to go to this tapas place ChaChaCha in The Haight. I didn’t have a lot of extra spending cash at the time so I let him pick the place knowing that guys normally pay for the girl’s meal on the first date. When we get there we sit down and he seems nice enough. We look over our menus and then he mentions that he is vegan and is morally against the killing of animals. He then informs me that I can get whatever I want, but that if I get meat I will need to pay for my own meal. I have nothing against eating vegetarian, but why did he pick a tapas place that serves mostly meat items? Why not a vegetarian restaurant? He orders a large salad, and then I end up ordering the same thing. I know, I know, it’s a total #firstworldproblem.
So the rest of the date went so-so. We went dancing and he tried to invite himself back to my house. I wasn’t feeling him, and especially didn’t want to invite him back to my house. He seemed a little bit upset as the date ended, but I didn’t think anything had gone wrong. Later he messages me and says I was rude for not inviting him back home after he paid for my meal. He says “I hope you enjoyed your gratuitous meal of salad, bread and a drink that I bought”. First of all, I don’t think that is the correct usage of the word gratuitous, and second, that guy was just a jerk.”
This date happened to a friend Anna who met up with a guy from Match.com.
“On our first date he was a total gentleman. I had cancelled on him twice because I had got busy with other things, and he had said that was fine. When I show up for our first date he picks me up in his car and holds the door open for me, as opposed to just sitting in his car and then giving me an awkward hug over the seat to say hello. We went to Mission Bowling Club, which I thought was a strange place for a first date. I suck at bowling, but we still had fun.
And then our second date happened. I should have known that he was a little persistent and crazy. He was a product director at a popular social network company down The Peninsula. Our second date was on a Wednesday and at the end of it we made out a little bit. Only thing is that he had the flu, and he didn’t tell me till later! He goes away on a work trip and texts sweet things to me saying he can’t wait to see me and how gorgeous I am. When he gets back on Sunday he says he just has to see me. I tell him I am sick and that it really doesn’t make much sense to come over. He brings me some Sudafed and Halls cough drops and we end up chatting on the couch. He inches closer and closer to me until he puts his arm around me and we proceed to make out. Then, he starts humping my leg like a little dog….
I tell him he needs to get out, I’m sick and I need to rest. He protests like a little child, and runs into my room. ‘No I want to stay here’, he says. I tell him that its not going to happen and he gets sad. On the way out the door he gives me a half hug with one arm does a pat-pat motion on my shoulder. ‘Hope you feel better’ he says, and then leaves. The next day he texts me that he is sorry for the way he acted and I never heard from him again.”
If you have more OkCupid stories, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Or leave me a comment on the MissionHipsters Facebook page. (link is on the right side bar) And follow MissionHipsters on twitter to hear about all the latest coffee shops, bars, and events going on in The City.
Next up…OkCupid profile advice from the panel.