5 things not to do on your OkCupid profile

OkCupid profile advice – So what have they learned from these dates and what to expect based off what’s read in the profile? Here is some general advice from my interviewees.

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1. Less is more. The fewer pictures and less details on content the better.  Basically when people glance through your profile they have an easier time identifying a reason not to like you than reasons why you are good. How many times have you gone through the person with 8 pictures only to get to the last one and say “Oh, that is not a cute picture, in fact he/she doesn’t even look like his/her other pictures.”

2. Avoid overused cliches. You want to make yourself stand out. Lot’s of people say that they are: down to earth, smart, enjoy exploring the city (what does that even mean?), like to go out to eat (as opposed to going hungry), saying that “your eyes” or your “great personality” are the first thing people notice about you.

3. Things not to list in your “six things you could never do without”: my cellphone, porn, quality food, my Apple products, my virginity, my hips that have moves like Jagger, physical things that we all need like air, water, and food.

4. Mention inside jokes about nerdy science fiction shows like BattleStar Galactica, ie. mention that you are not a Cyclon. (Oops I’m guilty of this).

5. Talk about sex before the first date. This is mostly for the straight guys reaching out to girls.

My profile is pretty awesome, check it out: http://bit.ly/4kb77v

If you have more OkCupid stories, please email me at missionhipstersblog@gmail.com. Or leave me a comment on the MissionHipsters Facebook page. (link is on the right side bar) And follow MissionHipsters on twitter to hear about all the latest coffee shops, bars, and events going on in The City.

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The search for love in modern times – OK cupid stories

Its a well known fact that online dating sites have become a major way for people, young and old, to meet that new special someone. While there are a lot of dubious statistics on online dating, some studies claim that over 1 in 6 marriages have come from a match that someone met online. A variety of online dating sites and social networking apps have risen to popularity, but one seems to be more popular than the rest with young San Franciscans- OkCupid. Below are a couple of my friends’ stories from OK Cupid first dates. Names and some circumstances have been changed to protect their anonymity.

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OkCupid stories

This date happened to Carol who met up with a guy on OkCupid. Carol is a software engineer that lives in The Mission and works for a start-up down The Peninsula.

“I’ve had a couple of interesting experiences with OkCupid dates. On this one date we had gone back and forth messaging about where to meet up. He insists on this BBQ place in Bernal Heights which I wasn’t really into and was a far walk from my house. I get to the restaurant, wait outside, and text him that I am there. A minute later he walks out the front door of building, which is literally next door to the restaurant. Obviously this guy thought he was going to eat some BBQ and then promptly take me home for desert. But after seeing that was clearly his intention, that was just not going to happen. They have this one question on OkCupid that goes “Which is worse: someone you are not attracted to or someone who you have nothing to talk about with?” From my experience on this date let me tell you, its worse to have nothing to talk about. As I remember we ate and I left right after.

My one other thing I’ve learned about OkCupid dates is this. The guys who talk about sex and how good they are in online messages before the first date end up being pretty bad. So my new rule is avoid going out with the guys who talk about sex prematurely- or at least think twice before going home with them.”

This date happened to Kelly, a self proclaimed social media ninja living in NoPa.

“So we had messaged online about which places to go to and he had decided to go to this tapas place ChaChaCha in The Haight. I didn’t have a lot of extra spending cash at the time so I let him pick the place knowing that guys normally pay for the girl’s meal on the first date. When we get there we sit down and he seems nice enough.  We look over our menus and then he mentions that he is vegan and is morally against the killing of animals. He then informs me that I can get whatever I want, but that if I get meat I will need to pay for my own meal. I have nothing against eating vegetarian, but why did he pick a tapas place that serves mostly meat items? Why not a vegetarian restaurant? He orders a large salad, and then I end up ordering the same thing. I know, I know, it’s a total #firstworldproblem.

So the rest of the date went so-so. We went dancing and he tried to invite himself back to my house. I wasn’t feeling him, and especially didn’t want to invite him back to my house. He seemed a little bit upset as the date ended, but I didn’t think anything had gone wrong. Later he messages me and says I was rude for not inviting him back home after he paid for my meal. He says “I hope you enjoyed your gratuitous meal of salad, bread and a drink that I bought”.  First of all, I don’t think that is the correct usage of the word gratuitous, and second, that guy was just a jerk.”

This date happened to a friend Anna who met up with a guy from Match.com.

“On our first date he was a total gentleman. I had cancelled on him twice because I had got busy with other things, and he had said that was fine. When I show up for our first date he picks me up in his car and holds the door open for me, as opposed to just sitting in his car and then giving me an awkward hug over the seat to say hello. We went to Mission Bowling Club, which I thought was a strange place for a first date. I suck at bowling, but we still had fun.

And then our second date happened. I should have known that he was a little persistent and crazy. He was a product director at a popular social network company down The Peninsula. Our second date was on a Wednesday and at the end of it we made out a little bit. Only thing is that he had the flu, and he didn’t tell me till later! He goes away on a work trip and texts sweet things to me saying he can’t wait to see me and how gorgeous I am. When he gets back on Sunday he says he just has to see me. I tell him I am sick and that it really doesn’t make much sense to come over. He brings me some Sudafed and Halls cough drops and we end up chatting on the couch.  He inches closer and closer to me until he puts his arm around me and we proceed to make out. Then, he starts humping my leg like a little dog….

I tell him he needs to get out, I’m sick and I need to rest. He protests like a little child, and runs into my room.  ‘No I want to stay here’, he says.  I tell him that its not going to happen and he gets sad. On the way out the door he gives me a half hug with one arm does a pat-pat motion on my shoulder. ‘Hope you feel better’ he says, and then leaves. The next day he texts me that he is sorry for the way he acted and I never heard from him again.”

If you have more OkCupid stories, please email me at missionhipstersblog@gmail.com. Or leave me a comment on the MissionHipsters Facebook page. (link is on the right side bar) And follow MissionHipsters on twitter to hear about all the latest coffee shops, bars, and events going on in The City.

Next up…OkCupid profile advice from the panel.

Coffee Shop Review- The Financial District’s “Coffee Bar”

IMG_5696It seems this hipster coffee trend is continuing to grow with the opening of Coffee Bar on Montgomery Street in the Financial District of San Francisco. This place has all the makings of a hipster coffee shop. The store has a crisp, clean design with a simple menu and serves up mainly traditional espresso drinks, small cups of coffee, and a simple selection of pastries delivered daily from a local bakery. All the employees wear black shirts, indigo jeans, and occasionally grey vests or other accoutrements. Their is a certain air of condescension coming from behind the counter, but much more understated than their Valencia Street counter parts. Oh, and did I mention the coffee is really f-ing good?

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My main critique of the store is that instead of trying to do something new, it basically copied and synthesized various trends in cafes and threw it in haphazardly to the financial district. Probably the most blaring difference between walking into say Fourbarrel at 4 in the afternoon on the weekend, and Coffee Bar at 8 am is that you are simply going to get a different crowd. IMG_5693This isn’t your get coffee and linger to soak up the ambiance type of coffee shop. Instead it is in and out, and on your way back to the office.  Another difference is all the fun homeless people of downtown SF spicing up the urban ambiance.

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Being that this place is right next to my office I go there from time to time with my coworkers. One of them observed recently, ” Is there some sort of requirement to work at these hipster coffee shops that you have to have an ambiguous sexual orientation.” Haha, so true.

Another interesting attempt at fitting this hipster aesthetic is this faux-Instagram photo blown up and posted above the door inside.

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It shows an older white man in business clothes sitting on a financial district rooftop looking out over the bay.  I find it a little strange to take this virtual world aesthetic of Instagram and place it in your store as “artwork”. (As a side note, I love Instagram and you can follow me here under the name missionhipsters.)